but it loves me,
covers me in silence
provides me much time
makes my thought lighter,
That's because I don't have to think about her instead of me.
By the time, I become used to this circumstances,
the loneliness keeps saying,
"you don't need love this time it will just be the burdens and problems for you"
It keeps tempting
"C'mon think of it, I will provide you much time, friends, freedoms, and happiness"
It tries to reach deeper to my deepest heart,
It whispers, but it sounds clear, and it almost takes control of my mind,
"love will only bind you in chain, and I will break you unchained".
However,
deep inside my little deepest heart,
there is a voice, which says that
"I need her".
The clash in my mind is inevitable, it makes me confused,
love grabs my right hand softly, it feels warm and soft.
according to my heart of heart, it's right.
The loneliness forcefully pulls my left arm, it's indelicate and rough,
but logically it is right, even though it hurts me so much,
I have to end this confusion
I have to decide,
then I have decided.
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